Parents & (Chosen) family

Trans and Day care (Kita), School & Free Time

Young people need safe spaces, places where they can develop freely and without fear. 

However, these conditions are often not or not sufficiently provided for trans and non-binary children and adolescents. In many places, there is a lack of queer- and trans-sensitive as well as trans-specific activities and educational opportunities, counselling centres and meeting places.

As a parent or caregiver, you can help to better protect trans and non-binary people from discrimination, so that they can confidently deal with their own gender identity outside the family.

Dealing with enforced spaces

Young trans and non-binary people are not free to choose whether or not to attend their day care centres, schools, and educational institutions (at least not without negative consequences for their professional or academic futures). 
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If a young non-binary or trans person signals to you that your support in one of these areas is needed, deal with it in confidence. Ask the person what specific steps they would like to happen. Don’t make any decisions without their consent.
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All actions should be based on the needs of the trans or non-binary person in question: 

  • Never out a person against their will. 
  • Clarify together who should be informed about what.
  • Always respect chosen pronouns and name. However, some people do not use any pronouns.
  • Offer to accompany your child or family member during conversations with teachers and social workers. 
  • You can also make suggestions about how educational institutions could be made non-binary and trans friendly (e.g. setting up unisex washrooms or separate locker rooms, information sessions for parents and professionals, network meetings, etc.). 

Further information can be found here: 
Trans and legal rights

Support during free time and recreational activities

Few sports and recreational groups cater specifically to queer people or trans and non-binary people. Your child or family member may also prefer that their gender identity not be an issue during sports or recreation.

To ensure that sensitive and non-discriminatory interaction is practised, you can ask sports clubs and recreational groups about their stance on gender and sexual diversity. It is always best to do this in consultation with the young person who is interested in these activities.
You can get useful tips from regional groups or youth clubs for trans and non-binary people who have already had experience with local clubs and organisations. 
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This way, you can ideally find out in advance which programmes are open to trans and non-binary people and which are trans-friendly. It also allows you to specifically look for groups and clubs that focus on self-determination and empowerment for young trans and non-binary people. 

For example, you can find an overview of queer youth clubs as well as offers for trans and non-binary young people in NRW on the Queere Jugend NRW page. On a website of Landeskoordination Trans* NRW, you can find help and activities for trans people of all ages.